Flowers in December
by zulka
Summary: Jack finds himself in a bar drinking his sorrow away when Elsa walks back into his life and they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but sometimes it can also make the hatred grow. If life is about second chances, then Elsa hopes she's not too late. (Jelsa AU)
1. Goodbye Sunshine

**Flowers in**** December**

by: zulka

.

.

.

It had been a Friday and it had been cloudy with a chance of rain for the weekend. He had been exhausted.

Saturday was going to be his free day.

He thinks back on this and laughs bitterly.

The whiskey sloshes around in his glass.

So fucking bitter.

He thinks he's had too much to drink because the room turns when he turns. He laughs at that too. Part of him wants to keep drinking until he blacks out. The other part of him tells him that he should get his ass home.

His cell phone is in his pocket and he knows that if he calls Aster, he'll come pick him up regardless of his grumbling or the fact that he's three hours away. Then again there was always Hiccup. He was near too.

But he doesn't want to go anywhere. He wants to stay there with the whiskey in his hand and keep drinking until he can't remember who he is or where he's at. He decides that's a good plan and gulps the rest of the whiskey down. He asks for another one.

Next to him someone sits down but he pays them no mind. He didn't come to pick up anyone and he's not about to go home with anyone tonight. Though, he thinks, it might not be a bad idea. Some one-night stand might make him forget better than the alcohol. He wouldn't be thinking then.

But then again there's only one person he wants to see and he can't. The thought makes bitter, angry tears form in his eyes. Yes, that's the reason he's at the bar in the first place. If he's not careful he's going to end up sobbing his heart out on the counter. But who gives a shit really. Maybe he should just do it.

He should finish his whiskey though. That's what he should do first. Finish the whiskey. Drink the whiskey and then drink more whiskey. That's right, that was the plan.

There's a bubble of laughter that wants to break free and he tries his hardest to hold it.

_Can't laugh…can't laugh_

He feels the tears begin to form again. Dammit! Finish the whiskey. That's all he has to do. He gulps it down and places the empty glass on the counter. His face feels numb and he wants to laugh again. He places his hands on his cheeks.

Oblivion. That's where he wants to be. He should pay for his drinks and then find someone to go home with.

He tries to get the bartender's attention and the person next to him says, "I think you've had enough."

He ignores them. In his fuzzy brain he's not really sure the person is talking to him. Not that it matters. He still wants more whiskey. He doesn't feel the burning sensation as much or the flavor. All he wants is oblivion. He wants to forget. He wants to not think because if he does he'll think of her and the thing in his chest begins to hurt till he can't breathe.

"Jack. That's enough."

He wonders at the hand that's holding his own, slightly confused as to where it came from and he looks to his other hand. Definitely not his, unless he acquired a third one and for a slight moment he freaks out.

"Jack you need to go home."

There is a light familiarity that is pulling at the corners of his fuzzy brain. But he shakes it off as he tries to pull the hand off him. He needs to keep drinking. He wants to drink till he sees nothing but black.

"You're going to get alcohol poisoning!"

"Leave me alone." He grumbles and he wonders if his voice is loud because everything sounds pretty much the same to him and he can't tell the difference. Annoyed he turns to look at the person. If its Aster he's going to punch him and ask how he got there. He didn't tell anyone where he was going. Either that or he'll cry over the fact that Aster drove three hours to get to him. No, he won't cry for that but it'll be a good excuse. Then again there's always Hiccup.

The person sitting next to him isn't Aster. It takes a few seconds for his muddled brain to register who it is.

For a moment he thinks he might throw up.

Elsa _fucking_ Queen is sitting next to him.

He truly believes then that the universe is laughing at him and throwing salt in his wounds. Yes. He definitely needs more whiskey. He turns and pulls his hand away from her and in the process almost tumbles from his seat. She grabs his arm though and stops him from hitting the floor. He wishes she'd let him.

"I heard what happened." Her voice is so soft and he hates it. He _hates_ it.

Elsa is a sharp thought that carves him open when he's not careful. She made him bleed the first year. He thought he was over it but now seeing her, he realizes he isn't.

"You should leave." He tells her as he stares at his empty glass. He rests his head on the counter. His head feels heavy.

"Jack, I'm really sorry."

He scoffs. His hand reaches into his pocket to pull out his money and he drops it on the counter. It might be too much and he stares at it dazed. It doesn't really matter. Things don't matter anymore. The trip to six flags doesn't matter. The gift in his apartment doesn't matter. The surprise birthday party doesn't matter.

He sighs as he tries to stand up. Elsa is still sitting next to him. "How are you getting home?"

The concern in her blue eyes make bitterness rise in his throat. He doesn't answer her as he staggers off his stool and stands up. He stands for a moment trying to keep his balance as the room spins around him. He chuckles. His gaze is so unfocused. He'll have to walk home or something. He should probably call Hiccup.

He staggers to the door and is surprised when his face doesn't touch the floor. But the cold air outside hits him like a brick and he realizes Elsa was by his side holding his arm. The sad thing that has lived in his heart since three years ago flares up in hurt.

He wrenches his arm from her grip and stumbles into the wall. "No! You don't get to do this to me! You can't just waltz back into my life after what you did!"

Her gaze is hesitant then and sorrowful.

"Let me take you home. Its 3am."

He's shaking his head at her. "No. No. No."

"Jack please."

He shuts his eyes tightly and the ground spins beneath his feet.

Home. He doesn't want to go home. All he wants is oblivion.

_Home_

"Leave. I don't want to see you."

Elsa Queen is a gaping hole in his chest.

Elsa Queen is withered flowers and disillusionment, an emptiness in his old apartment and a bitter memory.

"I can't leave you like this. Not here."

He wants to laugh at that. "You had no problem doing it three years ago."

She flinches at his words but says nothing. He's not even looking at her.

He opens his eyes and stares at the night sky. The stars are dim with the city lights. All he wants now is to sleep. He has nothing left at the moment. He can feel the tears begin to form again and they roll down his cheeks. Her soft hand on his shoulder burns and he's exhausted. He wants to push her away but he's so fucking _tired_.

And suddenly he's laughing and she looks at him in confusion before realization dawns on her. His laughter turns into sobs. She wraps her arms around him in hesitation and is relieved and glad when he doesn't push her away and slowly she pulls him into her.

His body is shaking.

"She's dead. She's dead." he tells her brokenly. "My sister… my sister— she—s-she's dead…"

His voice is a repetitive broken whisper. "She's dead Elsa. She's gone and I don't know what to do…_she's dead…_"

Her only response is to hold on to him tighter. She knows this is not sadness. This is grief and there is nothing to be said.

.

.

.

_Notes_: this took a while. i've never been into crossovers but Jelsa is just too also been a while since I've written so hope its all okay. don't worry its not the end. i like happy things. thanks for reading.


	2. Dull Eyes

Chapter 2

.

.

.

His eyes feel heavy

His head hurts and he groans as he shifts. He stares at the wall in confusion, at the bookcase and the books in it.

The events of last night are fuzzy and he knows that he isn't in his parents house. The color scheme isn't right.

He has an idea of where he is and suddenly sits up. The room tilts and he wonders how much he actually drank because he still feels buzzed. He finds it funny that he always wakes up early regardless of how much he drinks.

He stands up on wobbly legs and makes for the door but before he leaves he turns to the bed again.

Elsa is asleep and he remembers, as if watching someone else's memory, his broken self sobbing whatever is left of the sad thing in his chest and her hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. He wishes he hadn't turned back and walks out the room.

It doesn't occur to him that he's only wearing socks until he's outside her apartment. But he's not going back. He calls a cab and waits for half an hour in the chilly morning, shoeless. The sky is overcast and he thinks that it might rain. Those were new shoes too. He chuckles at himself and it almost turns into a full blown laugh.

The cab pulls up soon after.

The inside of the cab smells funky, he thinks as he stares dazedly out the window. He remembers being a child and closing his eyes as his father drove and making a game out of trying to figure out which way they were going. He was often wrong and it often felt like they were always turning right.

His fare is quite expensive and he blames Elsa Queen for that. If only she'd listen and left him on the street. He tries not to think about her because if he does he'll remember all the traits he wants to desperately forget.

He wants to forget so much right now.

The house is quiet. He imagines his parents are in there somewhere, lost in the quietness. Its funny how silence can feel so loud. It makes him feel even more empty and more sad if that's even possible and somehow it is because he feels like crumpling to the ground.

The trek up the stairs is exhausting and for a moment he remembers how they used to run up and down as children.

He stands at the top and he knows his room is to his right, but there is a door before his room that stands ajar and he can hear the soft sobbing of his mom.

Swallowing the lump in his throat he walks to his room. He should get some sleep. He doesn't want her to see him like this. Not like this.

His room is white with dark blue curtains. Briefly, he notes that there is no dust and smiles.

But the calendar staring at him from across the room makes him stop.

It is Monday morning and he refuses to bury her on her birthday. He brings a hand to his mouth to stifle his sobs but instead he ends up sliding down to the floor in a broken blubbering mess.

.

.

.

She knows without turning that the spot where Jack was is empty.

She was hoping to wake up before him. She wants to laugh at that because she should know better than anyone that whether he's drunk or not, he always wakes up early. Now getting out of bed was a completely different matter for him. She thinks about how many times he had woken up only to tell her that he was still drunk. This time she really does laugh.

But she makes no effort to get up and as her laughter dies down, a melancholy mood sets in her.

It has been a while since she last shared a bed with Jackson Overland and in the last three years she often found herself wondering if he was sharing his bed with anyone else. Was he sleeping with someone? What did they look like? Were they prettier than her?

Though nothing happened between them, it felt nice to feel his presence in her life again,to run her fingers through his brown hair and hold him.

_Is there someone in Jack's life now? _

She tries not to go there and when she does she can't help but feel helplessness and anguish. She understands it is only fair. She knows that she can't resent him if there is someone special. But the thought always cuts her like tiny knives, because that was _her_ place. Jack was _hers._

But she has no right and yet with everything that's happened she's hoping against hope that she'll get another chance.

The slam of her front door startles her and she can hear her sister humming. She stays in bed however and only clutches at her pillow.

.

.

.

Anna isn't surprised by the silence that greets her or the fact that Elsa isn't up yet.

Her mom had told her that Jack had arrived Friday.

She sighs. She is still in disbelief. She will never see Pippa Overland again and the thought makes her want to start crying all over again.

What makes it sadder is that they were just starting to patch up their friendship.

She sets up the bagels and the cream cheese she brought, one tea and one coffee.

She sits at the table alone and stares at Elsa's impeccable apartment. It always makes her feel lonely. She remembers the old apartment and Olaf and Marshmallow and the photo frames on tables and walls. It was messy at times with Jack's coats and sweaters left on the couches and his millions of shoes all over.

She laughs a little because she and Pippa would always separate them and hide one. It was best to do it with one of his favorite pairs and watch him tear the place apart.

She feels exhausted all of a sudden.

Olaf is gone and so is Marshmallow. Both of them adopted by who-knows-who and who-knows-where. The only consolation she and Pippa had was that Jack's mom made sure they went to good homes.

It's been three years and yet it's taken her and her parents most of that time to mend the bridges Elsa burned down.

Pippa stopped talking with her after that day and it wasn't until a year later when they began speaking again. Little by little it seemed to be getting better.

When Elsa moved back the Overlands didn't ask about her. Her parents never brought it up. She's seen Jack at times since then. But Jack is like a fleeting shadow, here one moment and gone the next.

She slowly gets up and decides to wake Elsa, though she has a feeling she's already awake.

The first thing she notices when she opens the door are the shoes and for a moment she wants to scream.

Scream the same way she did when Elsa came back. She loves her sister and blood will always be thicker than water but she's not proud of what she did. They all felt the consequences of her actions.

"Elsa?"

There is no response but Anna knows Elsa is awake.

"Why are those shoes here?"

If she hadn't been so accustomed to them. If she hadn't hidden so many with Pippa she wouldn't have the slightest clue. She'd think Elsa had a guy over.

She knows Elsa didn't keep anything of his and the shoes are brand new.

"You saw Jack?"

Jackson Overland is a mess. Her mom told them.

"He was at the bar like always. When mom told us, I knew he would go there."

Some things never change.

"When he doesn't want to deal with things, you know he drinks."

Yes. Anna knows this very well.

There are times when she thinks she knows it better than Elsa.

Anna has seen Jack messed up beyond recognition. She's seen him so drunk to the point of ending up in the hospital. Before he left she watched him try to put the pieces of his heart back together. She doesn't know if he was successful.

"What are you trying to do?"

The questions is soft and Elsa finally sits to look at her.

"I don't know."

The answer makes her frown. She loves her sister. She really does. But Jack is a mess.

"Pippa is dead."

Elsa flinches.

Tears gather at the corner of her eyes. The funeral will be in a few days. She's not sure if Elsa will show up. She's not sure if the Overlands will appreciate her presence at this time.

"I love her too you know." Elsa whispers.

Anna shakes her head. "I thought you loved Jack too."

"That's not fair Anna!" and for a moment she feels guilty but she wipes at the tears that have begun rolling down her cheeks.

"She loved you too you know. You broke her heart too."

"I know."

Anna will not respond to this. There is a question that she has been dying to ask Elsa ever since she found it. But never has.

Instead she looks at Jack's shoes. "I'm going to take them. I don't think Jack will want to come back here."

"Please leave them, even if he doesn't come back. Please." The vulnerability in Elsa's voice makes her heart sink and convinces her that maybe she doesn't need to ask at all.

"Elsa," she begins and this is the hardest thing because she knows Elsa is hurt and she's her sister and Anna loves Elsa very much. But she owes it to Pippa. "You better be damn sure you know what you want this time. Otherwise, leave Jack alone."

She leaves the room then and shuts the door but remains outside. She can hear Elsa's soft cries.

_Do you regret it?_

Anna is convinced she does. She wants to believe that the torn envelope and the frayed lace and ribbon are proof. That the tear marks on the paper don't lie.

She knew exactly what it was when she found it. She knew it without even reading it. She knew the font of the letters and she even remembered the RSVP card. She knew because she was the one who picked them out along with Pippa Overland.

.

.

.

.

.

.

_You are cordially invited_

_To attend the Wedding _

_of_

_Elsa Queen and Jackson Overland Frost_

_"_At 2 PM, in January…" she whispers.

.

.

.

.

notes: i don't own anything. if forgot to say that at the beginning. it was originally going to be a oneshot then it turned into this. thanks for the reviews you guys. :D


	3. Just Another Night

**Chapter 3**

...

...

...

..

.

Jack finds himself in the bar again, his lips pressed against those of a pretty red head. She looked pretty. He really can't remember and when he looks at her all he can distinguish is her bright red hair because everything is so blurry.

They both laugh and then she's pulling his face in for another kiss. He responds by wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Her fingers tangle in his hair and he pulls away from her lips to kiss her jaw.

There is a thought in the back of his mind that keeps on telling him that he should have gone home a long time ago. Its faint and he pays it no mind.

The red-head giggles as he lays butterfly kisses on her neck. "Hmm…maybe we should go somewhere else." she whispers and he nods.

He tries to stand and ends up falling back into his chair. She laughs at him. He laughs too. His head is spinning and he struggles to focus long enough to stand up but everything is so blurry and his head feels so fucking heavy. All he can focus on is her bright red hair and bright blue eyes. Yeah. She's pretty. He doesn't even know her name.

"Let me help." She tells him as she pulls him up but they are both so drunk and they end up a mess of giggles, grasping on to the edge of the table so they won't fall down. It takes them a moment to find their balance and leaning on each other they make their way out of the bar. It is two or three or one in the morning. Jack isn't sure, his watch won't stop moving.

He must have mumbled something because she's giggling at him.

"Need a cab." he mumbles as she leans to give him a kiss. He forgets about the phone then and he drops it, the screen breaking as it hits the concrete. He presses her against the wall and she moans into the kiss. His hands wander underneath her top and she turns from his lips to kiss his neck.

"Jack!"

His hands keep moving higher and her hands begin to wander, running down his chest.

"Jack!"

He smiles and his lips seek hers and in his foggy mind he wonders how she knows his name.

"Jack!" and suddenly he's pulled away from the red head and he finds himself staring into angry green eyes.

He stares at the newcomer in confusion. He's upset at having been interrupted. The red-head is clutching at his shirt, looking from him to the other person.

"I've been calling you for hours." The person tells him.

Jack stares blankly at them for a few minutes. "Hiccup." he slurs

The red-head laughs. "Hiccup!" she says joyfully.

Hiccup only frowns at them. "It's three in the morning! You haven't answered your phone! Were you gonna drive this drunk?"

In his drunken state, Jack can't really distinguish the fury in his friend's voice.

He smiles at him instead and turns to the red-head who is nuzzling into his neck. "We're getting a cab right?"

"Mmm-Hmm." She answers as she closes her eyes and rests her head on his chest.

Hiccup merely raises an eyebrow and sighs. His anger vanishes and he feels weary. He knows Jack is having a hard time and the way he's dealing with it isn't the best. "Jack, you can crash with me and Astrid. The funeral is tomorrow."

Its like a tidal wave crashes onto him and suddenly he feels like he's falling and the alcohol isn't enough or maybe it was too much because he's drowning. Nothing can stop the sadness.

"She's dead." he whispers.

The red-head stares at him in confusion. "Who's dead?" she asks as she looks at him through half lidded eyes.

Jack simply shakes his head. "She's dead." he says again and he can feel the tears start to form again.

"Who?" she's running her fingers down his face and he presses his forehead against hers.

"My sister." he whispers and her face crumbles and she starts crying and Jack thinks its funny because he's drunk and she doesn't even know his sister. Without realizing it he's crying too and then she's kissing his face and he's pulling her closer to him and someone is pulling him away from her again. But he doesn't want to let go and briefly he wonders when the stupid cab is gonna get there.

"Okay. Its time to get you both home." Hiccup mumbles exasperated.

"But-its so sad." the red head mumbles as she clutches on to Jack.

"Well, he doesn't need your comfort." a voice snaps.

The red head doesn't register the new owner of the voice and stares at Hiccup instead who merely sighs.

He knew it was going to be a bad night the moment Jack didn't answer. Actually he knew it was going to be a bad night when Jack never called him to check in. It only got worse when Elsa Queen showed up at his doorstep.

"I think you should go find your friends and go home."

The red head giggles and Hiccup covers his face with his hand. He was seriously considering leaving Jack and heading home.

"We're going home together." She says as Jack nestles his head on her shoulder.

"No you're not." The red head finally realizes there is another person and stares hard at them, trying to focus. All she can make out is blond hair.

"Geez, what happened to wait in the car?" Hiccup mumbles as he stares at Elsa.

"You were taking too long. I thought maybe you were having trouble and I was right."

"Yeah and your presence is going to make it all better?" he tells her sarcastically before pulling Jack away from the red head.

"What the hell Hiccup!" Jack protests and the red head giggles.

"Who are you?" she asks and Jack laughs.

"Hiccup!" he slurs.

They both laugh then but the red-head shakes her head. "No. Her."

Jack stares at her for a few moments, trying to figure out what she's saying.

He turns and the outline is fuzzy, its like he's watching her through static. "Oh."

His grin makes Elsa's stomach turn and she watches as he breaks away from Hiccup and hugs the red-head to him again. She wants to rip her away from his arms.

"Oh boy." Hiccup mumbles, "Great, now I have a soap opera."

Turning to Elsa he says, "You should have waited in the car."

"I was worried! You know he can really mess himself up sometimes and—"

"Oh I know that! Trust me I know. I picked him up many times before no thanks to you!" He raised his voice, he hardly ever does that. But Hiccup finds his patience thinning at three in the morning.

Elsa doesn't respond she merely looks away and crosses her arms.

"She, is a Queen." she hears Jack mumble. She looks at him and quickly looks away.

The red-head gasps and stares at Elsa. "No! A queen?"

Hiccup snickers and Elsa shoots him a glare.

"Yup." Jack nods and he looks at Elsa again. "A Queen and guess what?" he whispers the last part.

"Huh?" the red-head doesn't quite understand what he's saying, all she knows is that his voice sounds funny, like he has trouble trying to get the words out, like its gonna break.

"I was going to marry her!" He laughs then and goes to give Hiccup a pat in the back, stumbling as he does so.

"Okay Jack. That's enough. Let's go home." Hiccup mumbles, his annoyance fading away as he makes sure Jack doesn't fall.

"And this guy, was going to be my best man! That was such a great day wasn't it Hiccup?" He laughs, but its bitter. It makes Hiccup wince.

But all Jack can focus on is Elsa's blurry figure. "I fucking waited for you to show up!"

She knows. Anna has told her. "I—I'm…" she struggles with her words because she is well aware that a simple _sorry_ won't cut it. She's beginning to wonder if anything will.

"You are such a bitch Elsa Queen." he tells her with such acrimony she recoils.

She wants to yell at him though, defend her actions. She knows she fucked up. She thinks about it all the time. She only shakes her head though.

"I don't think this is the right time for this talk." Hiccup says awkwardly as he steers Jack away from her. "Let's go bud. Astrid is going to kill me."

Jack laughs, distracted. "Astrid. She's crazy."

Elsa sighs. She has to hand it to Hiccup. His awkwardness has always managed to take center stage.

As he begins to lead Jack away he calls out to Elsa, "Hey can you make sure she finds her friends? We'll wait in the car for you."

She nods at him though she has half a mind to leave her there. If she's honest, she wants to leave her. Let her find her friends on her own.

She sighs loudly instead and approaches her. Really, Jack is free to kiss whomever he wants. She tried to ignore the spike of jealousy she felt when she saw them but it got the better of her.

The red head is sitting on the ground leaning against the wall, half asleep. She had forgotten about her until Hiccup mentioned her.

"Hey." she whispers as she gently shakes her shoulder but she only mumbles and opens her eyes blearily.

"You need to go home. You're here in the street. Are your friends inside?" She's really hoping they are because she knows that Hiccup is a knight and will not leave a poor drunk girl in the streets. The last thing she wants is to have her in the same car with Jack.

The red head nods slowly and Elsa tries to pull her up. "I think, dunno."

As she struggles to stand up she accidentally kicks Jack's forgotten phone.

"Is this your phone?" Elsa asks as she bends down to pick it up.

The red-head nods sleepily as she holds on to Elsa's shoulder.

"Seems like you broke it." she says as she clicks the middle button. She's hoping she can call someone. But instead what pops up are the missed calls from Hiccup.

"This is Jack's phone."

The red head nods and Elsa sighs exasperated. She puts the phone in her coat pocket before leading the red-head inside. There are very few people left, she knows the bar is about to close.

"Oh my god! Ariel!" A blond girl is suddenly crowding her and she's grabbing the red-head's hands. "I thought Arista was going to kill me! She's on her way and I couldn't find you! Where were you?"

At least, Elsa thought, the blonde didn't seem as drunk as her friend. "You should keep a better eye on her. She was outside."

Finally the blonde turns to her, "She was with this boy and then she was gone! Thank you so much!"

Elsa's smile is thin. "Well, have a good night." she says stiffly and turns to walk away.

"Yeah you too. Thanks again!" the blond calls after her and she overhears the red-head mumble "Alice, I feel sick."

_Obviously_ she wants to retort but stops herself. Her anger stems from her jealousy. She knows its misplaced. She's mostly upset with herself. It is just easier to take it out on the red-head and her friend. She's mad at Jack too for kissing her and _that_ she knows is unfair.

She walks out to see Hiccup parked nearby with Jack in the back.

The front windows are wide open.

"He's gonna throw up as soon as the car stars moving again." he tells her as soon as she gets in.

She scrunches up her nose in distaste. "Any bags?"

"Nope. Astrid is really gonna kill me. By the way did you make sure that girl found her friends?"

Elsa has to stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Yes."

Hiccup frowns and gives her a suspicious glance before slowly backing out of the parking space.

"Ugh." Jack groans from the backseat. "Stop moving."

"Can't do that. Need to get you home." Hiccup answers frowning. "Astrid is going to kill you tomorrow."

Jack simply groans in response. "Stop driving so fast."

"Really Jack?! I'm going 10 miles per hour! I should just kick you out the car and let your drunk ass find its way home. Or maybe Elsa can be nice enough to take you home. Didn't seem to bother her last time."

"Elsa."

She stiffens at the sound of her name, at the breathless way he's said it.

It's only a whisper and yet it has her heart hammering inside her chest.

Hiccup glances at her before turning his eyes to the road again. He's not her friend, not since three years ago. But between him and Astrid he has always been the most cordial.

He remembers seeing her again, shocking and unexpected. He had pulled Astrid out of the craftsman house quickly, knowing that if his girlfriend saw her the outcome of the meeting wouldn't end well.

That is not to say that he isn't upset. He was very angry that first time and his sarcasm and cynicism often betray that he's not okay with her, not yet and maybe not ever.

"Ugh Stop! Pull over!"

As soon as he pulls to the curb and stops the car, Jack throws open the door, barely sticks his head out and heaves.

Hiccup winces. "If I end up getting a ticket tonight, you're the one who's gonna pay."

Being up so late has made him grumpy. He sighs as he rubs his eyes. He knows Jack will leave as soon as the funeral is over and somehow even though the circumstances are very different, it feels like a repeat of three years ago. He can't help but think about it. Ever since seeing Elsa again, he's thought about it more than he'd like to admit.

He knows Jack isn't completely over her. That she is still a painful memory and bitter anger.

He wasn't sure if Elsa saw him that weekend at the craftsman house. But he saw her again at the coffee shop they all frequented. It had been five months. It had been an awkward meeting. No words had been exchanged and he had prided himself in his self-restraint.

The door snapped shut and he snapped out of his thoughts to see Elsa outside and speaking softly to Jack. He couldn't understand this, couldn't understand _her_. What right did she have to come and place herself into Jack's life again? He always found it funny how friends and family can harbor more resentment and anger to those who hurt their loved ones than the person who was actually hurt. He thinks it has to do with seeing someone you care about in pain and not trusting their judgment when they return to the person who hurt them in the first place. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to be stupid.

Jack simply moans in response and moves to sit up with Elsa's help. "I think we can go now." She tells him as she side steps Jack's throw up and sits next to him.

"Here, drink this." She says as she places a bottled water in Jack's hands.

Hiccup doesn't like it one bit but he needs to get them home, the faster they arrive the sooner he can say goodbye to Elsa Queen. The sooner Jack can leave again and the sooner they can put all of this behind them.

Jack takes a gulp of water. "Why are you here?" He whispers as he turns his head to look at her, eyes almost closing.

"I was worried." she whispers back, staring at her hands.

Jack sighs. "I wish you'd go away. You hurt, right here and now Pippa." his voice fades to nothing then as he stares out the window and way from her. He simply continues to drink the water.

Hiccup understands what he means. A new wound has formed and the old one has been torn open with her appearance. He thinks that heartbreak is like breaking glass, so damn hard to clean up. Just when you think you're done, you manage to find the tiny splinters that aren't that easy to pick up.

Jack's breath has evened out and Elsa can tell he has fallen asleep. Carefully she takes the empty bottle from his hand. Her fingers lingering on his.

Hiccup watches her expression from the rearview mirror. He's not sure what to make of her. He sees remorse in her gaze, hears the despair in her voice at times. It has been a while since she's gotten back, and only now she chooses to come and speak with Jack? He's not sure what her game is. He's not sure if he trusts her.

"Why are you here Elsa? What do you want?"

She throws him a surprised look. She doesn't answer right away. She hasn't told anyone this apart from her cousin. She's not going to start now.

"It can't go back to how it was. I hope you know that. And I have to say it's really low of you to use Pippa's death like this."

At that she flinches and she glares at him through the mirror. "I'm not. I knew her too and I cared about her."

He simply shakes his head and doesn't respond. It has been a long day and he's tired. As he glances in the mirror again and see's Jack's head fall to rest on her shoulder and the way her hand gently caresses his hair, he is reminded of vodka soaked gummy bears and jello shots and ultimately he knows its not his choice.

.

..

...

...

...

note: sorry guys. school and work keep me so busy. also i realized i wrote myself into a hole by the time I was going to write chapter 3. so it took a while to try and figure out how to go about this since I hadn't planned ahead since I thought it would only be a oneshot. this goes out to zoely and thank you to all who are reading and reviewing and following and even those of you reading silently. thanks


	4. Rain Beating Down

**Chapter 4**

.

. .

.

.

The steady beat of water falling wakes him up. His head is pounding and he can feel the weight of something on top of him. He tries to shift, and everything spins even though his eyes are closed. His mouth feels dry. His throat is parched and he craves water. There is a low whine and he jumps, eyes wide open.

The action makes him groan as his head swims and through blurry eyes he can see Astrid's blue pit bull sitting on top of his chest. "Stormfly' he croaks out as the dog begins to lick his face excitedly.

"Ugh, stop and getoff." he mumbles. But the dog is resilient and keeps licking his face, focusing especially on his nose. He moves his head but Stormfly's tongue chases after him. "No" he mumbles as he brings his hand to shove her face away from his own. A sharp bark makes him wince as it only serves to make his headache worse. He manages to sit up and push Stormfly away from him, instantly he can feel his mouth fill with saliva and he swallows thickly. He feels nauseous and he takes a deep breathe trying to calm his stomach.

Stormfly whines again from her place on his lap, her tail wagging eagerly. Her eyes are filled with expectation. Jack simply grimaces and places a hand against his mouth as he suddenly stands up and leaves Stormfly to swiftly jump to the floor.

His head still feels heavy and he tilts a bit as he tries to stand and orient himself, knowing that if he doesn't find the bathroom soon he's going to end up throwing up on the carpet.

He swallows again as he runs to the bathroom and barely makes it to the toilet before he starts heaving. He's not sure exactly what he's throwing up, he didn't eat much the day before. Once he's sure he's done he flushes the toilet and rinses his mouth. He sighs as he leans against the sink and closes his eyes and in the silence that follows he can hear the steady rhythm of the rain again, relentless, ongoing.

It is a grey day.

He laughs softly because it feels like the pounding in his head matches the beat of the rain, and it's a hard, sharp pain that pulsates on the left side of his head. His throat burns from having thrown up and he swallows again a few times trying to make it go away. A dog begins to bark and he holds his head, throwing a dirty look to the black lab standing by the door. "Shuddup Toothless."

The dog only barks at him and it makes the throbbing in his head worse and he groans. "Shh." he says as he tries to walk out the bathroom but Toothless only gets in the way and in between his legs, and losing his balance he falls to the floor.

He falls with a grunt and hisses in pain as he lands on his shoulder. The fact that he still feels dizzy from all the alcohol doesn't help. He decides that perhaps its best if he just stays on the floor.

A few minutes later a foot nudges his side, "You're in the way."

"I don't feel good." He answers with a groan. He doesn't want to get up. His head is still heavy, his eyes feel droopy and he's still very thirsty. He wants to curl up into a ball and never see the light of day again.

"Well after the stunt you pulled last night, I'm not surprised. Get off the floor or I'll step on you."

Jack moans and shifts. Astrid's voice is too loud and rough. She's known for her tough love, a punch easily means I love you or I think you're stupid. He sighs as he covers his eyes with his arm.

"It's raining." He tells her softly and in that moment of stillness between them, he can hear it again. Steady.

"It started early this morning. Like 5 or so." She answers as she kneels down next to him. "Lucky for you Hiccup picked you up and brought you here. You weren't answering."

"I don't remember much."

She snorts at this and stands up. "Of course you don't. Now move it."

"You're always so mean." he tells her as he sits up. Toothless is no longer in the hallway but Stormfly is and she sits by his legs. Her tail wagging eagerly as she stares at Astrid.

"Sorry girl. No run this morning, it's raining too hard." The dog only whines in disappointment.

"What time is it?" Jack asks as he tries to stand up on slightly wobbly legs.

"It's 8 in the morning. You should go back to sleep." and he wants to say no, that he's fine but really he's not. He simply follows her to the kitchen.

"I just want some water." He tells her distractedly as he stares out the window. The world outside is wet and grey, its cold and lonely. It was raining that day too. Suddenly his eyes fill with tears. He finds that no matter how much he cries, his tears never seem to run out.

It is Wednesday and her birthday was to be on Saturday. There will be no more birthdays. There will be no more Facebook posts. No more silly texts. No more interesting photos on instagram. Nothing, there is nothing now. The hot tears spill over and he can't stop them and he wishes he could because he's tired. But all he can do is cover his face in his hands.

There is a light pat on his shoulder and the clink of glass as its placed on the table. He wipes his eyes and stares at the glass of water. He gulps it down, his throat feels less parched but it's not enough. The thirst just doesn't go away.

"Here." She simply picks the glass up and fills it up with more water. "You should stop drinking so much."

"I can't." He is sniffling and he feels really pathetic. "I-I…I can't. It feels like I can't breathe, you know. Like I'm thinking about it every waking moment and I don't want to because…I just can't…I…I can't."

His sentence is broken, full of bits and pieces of all his emotions but she understands because its about the pain and the numbing. Its about that dizzying, silly, weightless feeling that makes you forget. She pats his shoulder again and places the glass with water in front of him. "Drink more water Jack, and you should really get more rest."

She watches as he drinks it. His eyes are bloodshot and tired. She really doesn't know what to say, or how to comfort. She has never been the kind to offer comfort in a kind, sensitive manner. That's just not who she is. She wishes she could tell him something but she knows nothing will make it hurt less. She watches as he sits at the dinner table, holding his head in his hands. She knows he's crying again. She can see his teardrops run and fall from his nose.

She heard the news from Hiccup.

Pippa was dead.

Car accident.

She had been at her parent's restaurant, helping with a party of 60. She had missed the first three calls and when she finally answered ready to lash at him for calling her at work, knowing that she was going to be very busy, the words died in her throat.

_Astrid, Pippa is dead._

It had taken several 'What?'s for the information to sink in and even then she was still in disbelief. Even now, she still can't believe it. She had been quiet after Hiccup had told her the news, after her brain had processed exactly what he had said. The noise in the restaurant had seemed to fade, and she had been rooted to her spot until Ruff had asked if she was okay. She had shaken her head and ran to restroom quickly asking Ruff to cover for her. She had remained quiet for a few more minutes because what do you say to that? Only after Hiccup called her name again did she unload a barrage of questions. What? How? When? What happened? Where's Jack? Does he know? Mrs. Overland?

That had been last Thursday.

Jack found out on Friday. He had been pissed.

The rain reached their town before it reached his. She remembers because it had woken her up Thursday morning, a loud ring of thunder followed by a splash of water. It was a steady rain, falling relentlessly just like today. The day before Pippa had posted on Facebook that she was going home for spring break. Astrid had liked her post, wishing her a safe trip. Pippa had responded with a simple thanks and a promise to come visit Stormfly and Toothless.

When she thinks about it, she feels awful and she feels so sad and watching Jack makes her feel depressed. She had known Pippa since she was a baby. When they had been seven years old going on eight and Jack had told her that he was going to have a baby sister. But now Pippa is gone, just like that. Gone.

"He's awake? I thought you were going to make breakfast or something." Hiccup murmurs as he enters the kitchen.

"What? You're hungry?" she asks him softly, almost whispering. "and he's asleep actually."

It makes her heart twist to look at Jack, his head resting on his arms, eyes closed with wet lashes.

Hiccup walks around to take a peek at him and nods. He shares a look with Astrid and she turns to boil some water.

"That bitch better not show up." She tells him as she takes out a packet of instant oatmeal.

Hiccup rolls his eyes at her. Astrid hates Elsa, plain and simple. She ripped her a new one when she saw her again after Jack had left. He prefers for them to not see each other, Astrid is very volatile.

"Oatmeal?" He asks to change the subject. It is way to early in the morning to have negative feelings and he would rather not think about Elsa Queen. She's a puzzle.

"What? You want something else? We haven't gone grocery shopping."

"No, its just your family owns a diner and all you do is make lazy food."

"Hiccup I'm not the one in the kitchen cooking. I don't cook." she whispers fiercely and Jack shifts. Hiccup simply makes a shushing noise.

"That's what he gets for drinking so much." She tells him, but she hardly means it and Hiccup knows that.

"By the way was _she_ here last night?"

Hiccup groans and goes to sit down. "Let's not go there."

Astrid grimaces but she still leaves the subject be. He's glad because she can go on and on and on about how much she dislikes her. He knows it has to do more with the fact that Astrid is hurt. She really liked Elsa after all.

"Don't burn the oatmeal." He tells her to dispel the tense atmosphere. She throws him a dirty look.

"Watch yourself." she mouths.

He smiles. He turns to the window then and watches all the little droplets on the window. The service is at noon. Then they will head to the cemetery. It still feels very unreal, from his mother's call telling him the news, to Elsa knocking on his door the night before. It still didn't make sense to him why she came to see him if she picked him up Sunday night from the bar. That woman made no sense. She made her choice. She should stick with it.

He shivers and turns to Astrid, "It's so cold in here. Have you turned on the heater?"

"No."

"Why not? It's freezing."

She shrugs and shaking his head he goes to the hallway, on his way he notices Toothless on the couch and Stormfly lying on the carpet. Both of them asleep and he shakes his head at them. "Wake us up early and then go back to sleep why don't ya?" he tells them as he adjusts the temperature and a few seconds later he can hear the hum of the heater as it starts up.

His phone rings just as he's about to return to the kitchen. He frowns wondering who could be calling him so early. He runs to the bedroom but misses the call anyway. Checking the missed calls he realizes its Jack's mom, Kari Overland. Wincing for more than one reason he returns the call. She answers on the first ring.

"Henrik?"

"Morning Kari."

"Henry is Jack there?" He can hear the tears in her voice and he feels helpless.

"Yeah. He's here. He's asleep."

"I was worried. He hasn't been coming home. Nick arrived Monday night and he said Jack wasn't answering his phone." By then she's completely broken down and Hiccup can only sigh on the other end.

"Yeah, he hasn't been good about answering his phone lately." he tells her.

"Henry please tell Jack to come home."

He sucks in a breath at her words and tells her that yes, he will and hangs up. Jack had called him up on Monday night and asked to meet at the arcade. He had found him there, eyes red rimmed from all the crying. Jack had told him that he was staying at a hotel and that he had seen Elsa Queen Sunday night at the bar. That she had the audacity to pick him up and try to _help_ him and like a fool he had cried in her arms.

"I have no resolve." he had whispered. "I thought I would be stronger."

Hiccup had been surprised because he had never imagined that she would be so bold as to approach Jack again but he remained silent. He had never mentioned the awkward tense conversations with Elsa he had had over the past three years. There weren't many and they had all been short.

Hiccup had never told Jack that Elsa was back and neither had Astrid. They had decided that it was best not to bring her up whenever they saw him. Seeing Jack after he moved was rare. He hardly came to visit, and only stopped by when his sister was in town. Hiccup had also noticed that being around them made Jack uncomfortable. He assumed that it had nothing to do with Astrid or himself but more with the fact that after you break up with someone, seeing other happy couples makes you rather angry.

Holding his phone he heads back to the kitchen, where Astrid has served the steaming oatmeal into three bowls. He doesn't think Jack will eat though, he heard him throwing up in the morning.

"Oatmeal?" He hears Jack's raspy voice and decides not to enter the kitchen, instead he backtracks to the hallway because Jack and Astrid have been friends since before he came into the picture. Astrid's answer fades as he returns to the room.

"No dinosaur eggs?" Jack asks teasing lightly but his wobbly voice and red eyes make Astrid more sad than mad.

"Nope. Ran out."

And she thinks that perhaps oatmeal wasn't the best thing to make after all.

It was a terrible choice.

Jack smiles though as he stirs the oatmeal with his spoon. It's a small smile but it's not fake but she can tell it's a painful one.

"I don't know what to do about anything…Did I ever say thank you for forcing me to get out of this town? I don't remember if I did, but thank you."

"I wasn't gonna let you stay here Jack and to be honest it made me really angry that you would throw away your plans and goals because of her. I could't let you do that as your friend."

He nods. "I know…and now she's here…and I have no idea…" he rubs his eyes then.

"I would tell her to fuck off."

He laughs and Astrid smiles. She's always been so brutal. "But you and Hiccup never told me."

It's not exactly an accusing tone but she can sense the slight displeasure at not being informed immediately.

She sighs and looks at her oatmeal bowl. She's not hungry anymore. "We all thought it was best not to. I don't think she deserves you after what she did and I felt like if I told you I saw her you would rush back down and — and I thought that would be so unfair because she doesn't get to destroy you and then come back into your life just like it never happened! Like it didn't hurt you! And you're just so nice and kind that…that…"

"My mom told me."

Astrid looks at him then, frowning. "I know."

"A year later, she told me a year later."

She watches as he plays around with the oatmeal. "I'm sorry I made oatmeal."

He simply shakes his head at her, "Doesn't matter. Everything is a painful reminder. Everything."

His eyes are brimming with tears again and he lets out a shaky sigh. "I wish…God Astrid, I just don't know." and he's pushing at his eyes with the palm of his hands trying to stop the tears from falling but its useless. "I just can't stop…I spoke with her Thursday and I just keep listening to her old voice messages on my phone because that's the only way I can hear her voice…and when I think about not being able to see her again…I just can't…" his voice cracks and goes high as it ends in a sob, but its one of those dry sobs with no noise, just a slight painful gasp.

Astrid bites her lip to stop her sob and she swallows the painful lump in her throat. "I know." She tells him and she's never felt more powerless than in this moment.

Jack takes a deep breathe, wipes his tears and grabs a paper napkin to blow his nose. "I know I should go home. But I don't want to and then I feel terrible. My mom needs me but she didn't tell me."

Astrid realizes that Jack is angry at his mother for not calling him immediately and she also wants to tell him that his mom probably understands why he hasn't gone home but she knows grief is blinding. "I'm sorry Jack."

His mouth twists into a would-be smile and he shrugs.

"Where's Hiccup?" he asks instead.

Astrid wipes her tears and walks to Jack to pat his shoulder, something she's done since they were children. "The room probably." she answers as she goes to call him.

Jack yawns then and he can feel his eyes drip with tiredness. He hasn't slept well since Friday. He searches his pockets for his phone and frowns when he can't find it. He looks for his jacket but can't find it. He doesn't remember much from last night. He goes back to the living room and finds it thrown haphazardly on the floor. But his phone isn't there either. Panicking he looks in the couch, disrupting Toothless who lets out a growl.

Hiccup arrives to find him upturning his living room. "What's wrong?"

"My phone. Is it in your car? Did I leave it there?" He's desperate because that's the only thing he has left and he can feel his anger building. He's such an idiot.

"It might be." Hiccup answers. He honestly doesn't know.

Jack runs his hands through his hair, exasperated. "Can we go check? I need my phone."

Hiccup nods. "Your mom called me. She said you weren't answering. She wants you to go home. I think you should go home too."

"My car is at the bar. Can you take me to pick it up?"

Hiccup nods and heads for the kitchen counter to grab his keys. Astrid appears a few minutes later. "Heading out?"

"Need to pick up my car." Jack tells her. "And I need to find my phone. I can't find it."

"Want me to call it?" Astrid offers as starts heading back to the bedroom.

Jack nods, unless its dead it should ring.

"I got it Astrid." Hiccup tells her as he places the call. They all remain silent but no phone rings. Jack curses.

"Might have fallen in my car." Hiccup says in reassurance but Jack is starting to think that he really did lose it and Astrid can see the anger and disappointment in his face.

"Let's head out, are you coming?"

Jack is already out the door, jacket in hand. But Astrid shakes her head. "Ruff and Tuff are meeting us here."

Jack hasn't seen them in a long time and nods, the twins Rubina and Tristan were always a riot. He really doesn't want to see anyone. He briefly hears Hiccup say goodbye to Astrid before closing the door. The rain has lost some of its strength and feels more like a drizzle. When they arrive to the car, Jack is disappointed to find that his phone is not there. He's probably never going to see it again and he wants to punch himself for being so careless.

"I lost it." He tells Hiccup as they drive back to the bar. "I lost my phone and everything in it."

"Maybe you left it in your car."

"No. I don't think so."

Hiccup frowns. "Do you remember last night?"

"Not really. Why? You think I left it somewhere else?" Jack is watching the streets and the cars. His hand grasping the edge of the seat tightly.

Hiccup isn't sure what to say. Should he mention Elsa? "Well you were making out with some redhead."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all?" Hiccup snorts in disbelief.

"Well…was she hot?"

Hiccup rolls his eyes. "She was a looker. Looked young though."

"Think she kept my phone?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I didn't see you with your phone at all last night."

"That's all?" Jack asks in disappointment.

"Well, Elsa was there too."

"Oh."

The rain begins to fall faster then and Hiccups changes the pace of the windshield wipers.

"I brought her there." He continues figuring its best to come clean.

"What you two are best friends now?" there's a slight bite to his question, its edges are laced with anger.

"No. Far from it but she came and knocked on my door and I answered and I was worried because you were not answering and I was thinking of going to look for you when she showed up and I admit it was stupid of me to bring her. There, I said it."

"You talk to her?" Jack is looking at him now and he will not deny the curiosity growing inside of him.

"Not really. Sometimes I see her at the coffee shop and she says hi but that's it. I don't talk about you and I don't ask about her." It's the honest truth, a simple hello and have a nice day even if he doesn't really mean it. He just is not the type of person to be mean. Sure he'll unleash a sarcastic remark here and there but nothing overly friendly.

"It's actually pretty awkward." He confesses.

Jack remains quiet then and returns to looking out the window. He doesn't want to think about Elsa but he does and he feels very confused. He leans his head on the window. His headache has not gone away and he can feel it spreading, throbbing on the right side of his head now, and up towards his temples.

"I can't drive." He says as he closes his eyes. He wants to sleep. He really does but he can't, as tired as he is he still can't sleep and it's making him really moody.

"I can take you home instead."

"No." he grits out.

Hiccup lets out an exasperated sigh. "Your mom wants to see you. She's worried."

"I don't want to see her. Just take me to the hotel and drop off my car later."

"Jack—"

"Please Hiccup."

"Okay. I'll take you to the hotel and then I'll have Astrid take your car there. Just give me the keys." He switches lanes and does a U turn at the traffic light. Hiccup knows that families can fall apart due to grief. People, fall apart because of grief.

The ride to the hotel doesn't take too long and soon he's driving away. He's tired too and he yawns. The storm is supposed to clear off by this weekend. He wonders, as he arrives home and pulls his jacket over his head to protect him from the rain, if Jack will even show up today.

Astrid is dressed in black and so is everyone else in the room. "Did you take him home?"

He nods in greeting to Ruff and Tuff before answering. "Nope. Took him to the hotel. He asked if you could take his car later."

"Did he find his phone?"

"Nope. Maybe the girl from last night has it. We didn't even make it to the bar. If he lost it somewhere, with all this water its dead. I'm gonna change."

"Man that sucks." Tuff says as he leans on his chair after Hiccup is gone. "I haven't seen Jack since he left for grad school. I say hi now and then on Facebook but nothing like before. It was pretty messed up what Elsa did. Not showing up to her own wedding. Dude I would flip out if a person did that to me and showed up again. Like no way man. No way."

"Yeah. I never saw it coming and I called it when I said they would get together in high school remember? I mean they started dating in college but I called it first. Like I just wonder what makes a person not show up, like if you actually love this person then how come you don't show up? Astrid where is your sugar?"

Astrid looks at Ruff and motions to the cabinet to her right. "It really doesn't matter now."

Tuff gives Astrid a disbelieving look, "Not matter? Astrid, Jack was head over heels in love and I've seen Elsa around town, you really think he's not gonna forgive her? I don't know about you but—"

Ruff cuts him off, "He would totally forgive her!"

"Its been three years since she got back almost as soon as he left. She had plenty of time to do it before and you're telling me she's trying to fix things now? Why wait so long? And it's not like she didn't know where he was going to school."

Ruff and Tuff look at each other and nod before looking at Astrid, her blonde hair disheveled.

"You know I was talking to Eret and the guy who caused the accident could face charges for involuntary manslaughter. Jack's family, they're gonna have to go to court."

Astrid buries her face in her hands. She's so damn tired and she can't possibly imagine how Jack and his parents are going to handle this.

Tuff simply looks back at Ruff, "What else did he say?"

"Well I don't have all the details of what happened but someone died due to this guys negligence so that's a charge. We just don't know what he's gonna get charged with. Reckless driving or vehicular manslaughter, if its vehicular then it also depends if its gross vehicular manslaughter or not."

"And what's the difference?" They all turn to look at Hiccup, who's fiddling with his sleeve.

"Nice suit." Tuff comments.

"Well it depends if you acted with gross negligence or ordinary negligence."

Astrid snorts.

"Wow they really look at it that much huh?" Tuff is shaking his head. "How did it happen anyway? I mean Astrid called Ruff and then she told me. Hiccup do you know?"

"Well you know it started raining earlier, first rain in a while so you can imagine the state of the highway and apparently some idiot was speeding and crashed into them."

"I would qualify that as gross negligence." Tuff says as he stands up and begins pacing. "I mean I am not the smartest but even I know not to speed in the rain, especially when it's the first rain in a while."

"Yeah well, some people have no respect or common sense. I'm leaving early to go to Jack's house. I left his car keys in the room, Astrid."

"Well hopefully that bastard's conscience is eating him up." Ruff mutters as she mixes her coffee.

"We'll pick up his car and take it to the hotel and how is he going to know I even dropped it off?" She can already feel a headache forming.

"Just leave it in the parking lot, he's at that Double Tree by Main street."

She gives Hiccup a strange look and Tuff and Ruff exchange a weary look.

"Is he even coming?"

"Astrid. Let it go. Just take the car and that's it. Leave it be."

"But-"

"Astrid stop! You can't fix Jack's life for him! If he wants to go he'll go and if not then that's it."

"Fine." she's not happy. Hiccup knows but he also knows that having someone breathing down your throat about what you should and shouldn't be doing to yourself when you're grieving can bring about resentment. Only once you remove yourself from the situation can you see clearly and even then it's only if you want to.

.

. .

.

The phone kept ringing until it died.

She had forgotten she had left it in her pocket and she really had no intention of taking it with her. She really did forget. She knows the times for everything and she also knows that she shouldn't go. She hasn't decided what she's going to do. She wants to go because Pippa was a big part of her life and she would have been more if she hadn't messed up. What makes her feel worse is that she will never be able to apologize to her in person.

"Elsa, I'm leaving now."

"Okay."

"Are you going to give Jack his phone back?"

"Yes." Her hands tremble. "I'm scared."

Anna comes to sit by her, a hand on her shoulder. "I know. But I think you really should talk. Is that why you prefer to talk to him when he's drunk?"

"It's cowardly of me, but yeah. I don't know what he's going to do or say and I just…"

Anna's heart hurts for her sister. "You know he still has the mustang."

Elsa smiles, "I know. I saw it in the parking lot at the bar." It's unmistakable. "I want to be able to fix things Anna. I really do."

"Do you still love him?"

She sucks in a breath and looks at Anna before looking down at the phone again. "Yes."

"Then why didn't you show up?"

It is silent for a few minutes and finally she gives her an answer for the question that has bothered her since Elsa's return.

"It's not a good answer. It sounds weak even to me. But I was scared. I don't know, but suddenly as I was in the car waiting, this crazy stupid fear overwhelmed me and I…I ran away."

Anna thinks that maybe that's why Elsa hasn't faced Jack.

"I think you should try. That way you—" but she stops abruptly and Elsa turns to look at her.

"What?"

But Anna shakes her head. She doesn't want to say it. She almost messed up. For a moment she forgot she wasn't talking to just anyone. She was going to say as she usually does to her friends, to do it so that they would have no regrets later, but that's not the case here. The fact is that Elsa had it all and let it slip through her fingers.

.

. .

.

notes: thank you guys for the reviews, the follows and favs! I really appreciate it! And yes, don't worry Elsa and Jack will talk when he is not drunk. :)


End file.
